FEEL THE FEAR & ...

This week BBC Radio 4 serialised the story of adventurer and explorer Ralph Fiennes  and how he's faced and dealt with fear in his life. His  reading  of his own work was without drama or exaggeration. He told us about how he coped with a phobia of spiders, although clearly terrified, and in a situation where to scream would have endangered the people he was with, he pretended that he didn't have a phobia and brushed the venomous creature off his leg. It worked! He cited other scenarios of terror and fear-while on expeditions and in battle zones.  Admitting to your self that you're terrified rather than denying it is the first step in dealing with it. When the body is in adrenaline overload, our emotions take over and being able to think clearly and rationally is extremely difficult.
     As a counsellor I have worked with clients with a range of fears and phobias but that doesn't stop me forgetting everything I know I'm supposed to do to calm down-breathing, distraction, self talk, self soothing.  Most of my phobias relate to animals, particularly dogs and birds flying at me in a confined space. (I had that particular one before Alfred Hitchcock made his film, The Birds).
    Fear can also hold you back from having adventures and engaging in life. This week we spent a couple of days in Norwich and took a train out to Hoveton & Wroxham, where The Norfolk Broads are easily accessible.
     Where does fear and just being a wimp start and end? We had the prospect of taking out a small cabin cruiser on our own for an hour. Neither of us had ever driven a boat but we both drive cards. We made up every excuse to each other why taking that boat out was a bad idea- there was no-one else out on the water, it was windy, we might break down, Rhys can't swim (although there were life jackets), it was cold etc etc. The fact was we were both scared but wouldn't admit it. The aftermath for me of not taking the opportunity to try something new is always regret and if only...   This was hardly white water rapids and the speed limit was only 5mph! We did the safe thing. Imagine if we'd felt the fear and done it anyway?